F#ck...

I've been living some strange months. I've had enormous amounts of expectations and pressure (internal and external), I've had glorious wins and disgraceful defeats. I've had moments with no time to breathe and moments with time to waste.

I've accomplished so much over this last year, but I have also failed miserably on most of my objectives. The accomplishments, and expectations on a new stage to come stop me from depressing, but once in a while, a horrible feeling of defeat, misery, even self hate are triggered, and it's f#cking hideous.

I'm waiting anxiously to start that new stage....

Soundtracks that open my heart

Beauty is everywhere. In so many places, in so many things, in so many people, in so many voices, in so many of us...

If only I could capture it all, image, sound, smell, touch.... just to show you how I see this beauty, how I feel it.

So much is in the way, of course. Technology, talent, permissions, privacy, reality... Still... It's a dream with its own beauty...

Too small for me

I hate small talk, because I can't keep it interesting. I tried...

Not bright, my life in society, is it? I'm not settled, but I am used to it...

Isolation

I'm lost in this world, in this society. I feel hanged in a off-season closet. As depressed and sad this can sound, this is hardly an acurate portrait of reality. I can say people tend to stay away from me, to keep me out, but that attitude is a reflection of me. Often, I get out, I keep myself from the crowd. Stupid one could say, but simple survival, as I need it to keep sanity.

I could go out more, I could be surrounded by people all the time, but that's not me. I could have more friends, real friends, but I like finding much more than looking. Lazy me... But thinking, as I keep doing, remembering past experience, how much fun did I really had? How much worthwhile experiences do I have to tell? How much did I grow as a person? Different answers to these questions, same conclusion. Not as much as one might think. Not nearly as much as I would like to.

Even so, human nature tricks me into wanting the life that others have, have the fun and friends that I never did. This is one of the most senseless inner arguments that I keep having. I'm in a crossroad, in which I don't want to stay, but I'm not sure I want to go anywhere too...

27/10/2006 00:12

Pensa naquilo que tens e não no que não tens.

Autor desconhecido

I want to go wireless

The strings are hurting.
These long lasting,
long stretching strings
are crippling me for
much too long.

They meant protection
but they've long lost good use.
Time to cut them.
I'll be hurting, maybe,
but I need to do it.

It's time to be stronger
than those wires,
break free.
Time to run at last...

25/08/06

Alive 'n kicking!

Passada a letargia e outras coisas mais, eis que volto a dar-vos notícias... Tenho estado afastado aqui do vicio persistente da net, não por estar na praia a grelhar, ou na noite a consumir, nem mesmo por fazer algo de útil para a economia. Essencialmente tenho lido, e fotografado alguma coisa. Fotografias, já coloquei algumas novas no Coisas, para vos ir entretendo. Livros, li o Anjos e Demónios (Dan Brown), O mistério de Sittaford (Agatha Christie) e Freakonomics (Steven D. Levitt e Stephen J. Dubner). Tenho que ir às estantes aqui de casa à procura de mais coisas pra ler ...

Sometimes I give in, but I never give up.

Há frases tão profundas que não se consegue tirar de lá nada...

Strange and happy me...

I've not been my usual self. For some time now, i've been almost permanently in a good mood. Completely happy. I'm not complaining of course, but it isn't usual in me.
I'm usually that kind of person that thinks too much, and does too little. And, all of you like me know... that's hell!
But lately I've been "completely" different. I've been thinking less, and I guess I've been "trying" to do more. Not very successfully, I might add...
But still, a hard battle awaits, as exams are so so near...

AAARRRGGGHHH!!!!

The empire of evil is coming!!!

....Damn!! I'm thinking again!!!

Bye!!

Enterro 2006

A pedido de muitas famílias.... :) Mais informação aqui.

Nature of things...

I don't like photographs. I like beautiful photographs. What I really like is beauty. Photography is just a way to capture it, to store it. It's a way to remember...

Beauty in general makes me feel good. Makes me want to live. Of course, as humans, we want to possess the things we like. And photography is great for that. We can own beauty, without having to destroy it. We can share it, losing nothing...

Next blog

O que eu gosto deste botão!! Blogs e blogs interessantes que já encontrei (no meio de muita palha e lixo) através deste botão. Textos, fotos, e coisitas que se aprendem por aqui e por ali...

Sou fã!! :)

Desafio

As regras:
"Cada blogger nomeado tem de enumerar cinco manias suas, hábitos pessoais que os diferenciem do comum dos mortais. E além de tornar público o conhecimento dessas particularidades, terão de nomear cinco outros bloggers para participarem igualmente no jogo, não se esquecendo de deixar nos respectivos blogs, aviso do "recrutamento". Além disso cada participante deve reproduzir este "regulamento" no seu blog."

As manias:
1 - tudo o q faço está bem/mal (varia diariamente);
2 - mania das grandezas;
3 - todo o mundo está contra mim (inspirado nesse Sr. q é o Pinto da Costa);
4 - "o Schumacher/Peterhansel/Loeb têm sorte q eu não ando lá";
5 - "Olha... tem piada, aquela rapariga não olhou para mim... Que estranho!!"

lllooollololol :))

Passo o desafio a:

1 - Emanuel;
2 - Gil;
3 - aos restantes bloggers do JoseKamadas;

PS: Obrigado ao Gato Preto por ajudar a construir/manter a imagem do Coisas... :)

Coisas que acontecem...

Ora bem. Eu tinha criado um blog para escrever umas patacoadas, e pôr meia dúzia de fotos... É o Coisas Minhas E Não Só, mas entretanto fui pondo fotos e aquilo até ficou asseadito (diz que sim...), ou em português actual: "O projecto desenvolveu-se e resultou num espaço agradável e fashion." ;) lol
Vai daí, como ainda me apetecem escrever umas postas de pescada, e para não denegrir mais seccções de comentários de blogs amigos, criei mais um blog...

E a desculpa, foi o desafio do Pedro...